Saturday, October 22, 2011

Reflections On Motherhood - The Good, Bad & Ugly

It's obvious that my world has been all about baby lately. I've been posting about baby stuff and what Russell's up to because it's what makes up most of my day. I've been thinking this evening about how becoming a mom has changed my life. So much of it has been a blessing and a joy. I love being a mom and Russell is an amazing baby.


I wanted to give a shout out though to all the mom's out there. Especially you single moms. Way to be! I have found that though I love being a mother it's not all unicorns and glitter and if I didn't have Joe I know it would be even harder. Here are the things I have found so far that are the good, bad and ugly for me.

The good... Russell is my little miracle. I love to watch him grow. It's amazing to see him become more engaged in the world around him. His smile melts my heart and I would never trade him for anything in the world. He's so cute and though I am loving every minute of his tiny babiness my mind does sometimes wander to thoughts of what he'll be like as he grows up. I can only hope that I'll be a good example to him and that he'll become a happy, healthy and well adjusted person. I also am blessed with a wonderful husband who is more than willing to help out with Russell. He loves us both so much and I am happy we get to share this time in our lives.

The bad... Let's be real... Though I would do anything for little Russell, it is not easy getting up over and over in the middle of the night. It's an adjustment from easily sleeping 8 hours to being lucky to get 2 hours in a row. It messes with your head to not get enough sleep and to find yourself getting more and more tired every time you wake up. I am lucky enough that I have a wonderful husband who can help out with Russell so that I can catch up on sleep during the day and if I'm lucky he'll catch a feeding when he gets home from work so I can keep sleeping. I know my sleep schedule would be even crazier if I were able to breastfeed and I am lucky that at times Russell will sleep for 5-6 hours straight. Of course it's usually when I'm not tired but I guess I just need to adjust to that and sleep when he does no matter what. For me the lack of quality sleep has been the hardest thing to adjust to so far.

The ugly...You can read all the books or watch all the shows on tv but there are just things it seems like no one tells you. For me the craziest thing I've dealt with so far is healing from my c-section. I got lucky and my incision has healed really well but that doesn't mean I haven't felt a lot of pain and numbness. I find it funny that I have a huge section of my abdomen that doesn't have a whole lot of feeling. It's weird and I never anticipated that would happen after having a baby. Also since I had the high blood pressure issue that caused me to have a lot of swelling in my body I have noticed that my left foot feels like it has some sort of nerve damage in it. It feels numb in a weird way when I touch it now. It doesn't affect my ability to walk or anything but it's odd. Seriously I have realized that there are so many things that can happen after or during pregnancy that you just don't anticipate.

Being a mother is an experience like nothing I could have imagined. I understand so much more what it's like to put another persons needs before yours. I can see how my mom could say she'd love me no matter what I did in this life. I understand that being a mother is not easy, it's a constant learning experience and that no website/book/person has all the answers. I understand that every person has their own journey and that there are no one size fits all solutions to parenting. I understand that every moment is precious and worth savoring. I can see how every mom thinks their kid is the cutest/smartest/best kid ever born.

Now I only wish I lived closer to my friends with kids so we could hang out, have play dates and compare stories about the latest thing our kid has gotten into. Oh well, maybe one day. Until then cheers to all the moms out there who are losing sleep to comfort their kids, working (in the home or out of the home) to provide for their kids and doing their best to provide a quality life for their kids. It's not easy and should be celebrated. Time to go... I think Russell is waking up for his next feeding.

4 comments:

  1. I love it! Russell is going to have a great life with great parents! This is just a passing phase to be treasured. Good and bad. I always say that nothing is ever worth it unless it requires a little bit of struggle mixed in with the great.

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  2. heartfelt and beautiful post ;)
    russell is blessed to have you as his momma ;)
    treasure the good (and the bad) moments because he is only a baby for so long. glad that you all are doing well ;)

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  3. Heather~ He is getting so big! I am really loving being able to see you take on Motherhood and do it so well ~ Thank you for sharing so much!

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  4. AWW I love you guys!!! It's been quite the adventure becoming a mom. It's exciting to see how he grows and develops. I'm trying to take on each challenge as it comes and enjoy all the days, good and bad, since I know it's best to treasure every moment. Good times. :)

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